In life there are many different types of pressures that are put on us as individuals. These pressures come from all different angels. For example;
Pressures from work - to perform your job/ role to a certain level and to reach certain targets,
Pressures from home life - children to care for, house to clean and maintain, pets to look after, maybe your caring for someone,
Pressures from relationships/friendships - having to fulfil other peoples’ needs, going to different places/events, even being a different version of yourself
Pressures from society - learning to drive, going to university, marriage, children etc...
Pressures from education - understanding the subject, doing the work, achieving the grades, exams, assignments etc..
One thing to also remember is that we may be affected by lots of different pressures at one time. There could be many other pressures affecting our everyday lives, some very personal and others maybe quite generic but nevertheless these pressures will affects us in their unique way. We may not actually realise what these pressures are doing to us or how they are affecting us. These pressures can also affect;
Our relationships - we may stop wanting to spend time with certain people as they may want us to do certain things or become a certain person.
Our work - we may start to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated leading us to become burnt out and not working to our full potential
Our choices - we may feel we have to make certain choices due to this pressure, even if we personally wanted to make a different choice
Family Members - we may become distant and detached because we have lost sight of our true self
Our Health - our physical, mental and emotional health could be affected
So why, on top of all that, would we want to put even more pressure on ourselves?
This is the biggest and most destructive type of pressure there is, in my opinion. A little pressure is good I admit as we can use this as motivation to get things done but too much pressure has the opposite affect. We are already under so much pressure from outside influences, trying to get everything 'right' or be the person other people want/need us to be, so instead, hear me out, why don't we listen to what we need from ourselves and become that person? Why not spend some time listening to what we want from OUR lives rather than what outside influences say we "should" want? At the end of the day it is you that has to live your life and live with what is going through your mind, so why should our opinions be second best to other's?
One thing I tend to ask my clients is: 'Would you ask someone else to do what you are asking yourself to do?' If the answer is 'no' (which is usually is) then why not? Why do we value other people's stress levels and mental health above our own? If we wouldn't ask someone else to do it, that to me, means that deep down we know that these tasks/goals are too overwhelming or stressful or simply unachievable right now. So why are we expecting ourselves to achieve the unachievable? Why are we putting extra pressure and stress on ourselves to do these things? Why not break them down in manageable and achievable chunks and do things that way, this in turn will help make the pressure and stress easier to deal with. As the incredible Freddie Mercury once sang: 'Pressure pushing down on me Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two Puts people on streets
For help dealing with pressure and the affects of pressure please get in touch with us here at High Hopes Counselling. Counselling helps.
Picture 1 Credit: https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/lead-better-pressure-mounting/ Picture 2 Credit: https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/how-to-guarantee-strong-performance-under-pressure/